A Good Wife’s Guide

Man, I agree that women have their role to play in today’s society, but when I look at the Bible, although women were treated differently by Jewish tradition, the way God treats them, the way Jesus treats them, is very different. I think that is the ideal. I would have much less issues with these (afterall if the wife’s job is nothing more than being a wife, the having the dinner ready etc is just part of the job), if it were not for the fact that a) It refers to women as second class citizens (what about the day SHE’S had with all the screaming kids??!!), and b) it insinuates that the wife would not naturally do all this, rather it’s all very much of a pretense, a little “role play”.

And this bit made me hopping mad:

They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Playing the part??!! What are they, possessions?! As for minimising all noise, has the writer of the article never been in the same house as a baby or toddler? Sheesh.

In conclusion, I’ve always thought that the best marriages were a partnership, where both are equal but play different roles. It is evident to me that women are designed to be better at some things and men designed to be better at other things. They should compliment one another, each covering for what the other lacks. Each should have the right to discuss an issue and their opinions in it, though (controversially) I believe that it should be the man who has the last say about any serious decisions made. I believe the man is the protector and provider first and foremost, although I know, and would not be against the idea of a couple with a stay-at-home dad and a working mother if that’s where the individual´s gifts lay.

Marriage is far from “Happily ever after” it´s “Til death do us part”. As such it´s bloody hard work, and with this attitude of total inequality it would be unbearable. I’m SO glad I wasn’t a young woman in the 50’s. I’d never have got married. Or worse, I would have married a wimp I could walk over…

Could you not perhaps argue though that if you had have been a young woman in the fifties that the influences based on what was socially the norm would have an an impact on how you felt about the points from that article.
Does the society in which we are brought up in not have a huge impact on what we percieve to be right and wrong?

I’m sure i red that in Sociology.

Watch pleasantville aswell that will backup that article

Kris, I am sure that women in the fifties would have had like Jon points out, a lot of pent-up agression. That’s why we had Women’s Lib after all. To me it’s a shocking misinterpretation of what God meant for men and women.

More importantly - has Kris actually made a serious comment on a blog? Times are certainly a changing!

Yes, Kris’ comments on this post were sensible! Just jealous cos his no.1 read is now roobottom.com!

Is this why I’m not married…? I have to say I did giggle when reading this post…. my gran told my mum this was how she was to look after my dad when they first got married… my mum said she wouldn’t have minded. But my gran never did any of the requirements herself….

Sorry about that guys, dont know what came over me!

But it all seriousness (again) past perceptions aside, times certainly have changed and I would like to think that the majority would now find a 50/50 relationship to be the most fulfilling option.

Plus, if I ever told Alix to ‘know her place’, you probably wouldnt ever see me again!

before I read this, know that I was joking with someone only moments ago that Jon needs to learn to cook

I have to say that Good Housewives manual never loses it scary appeal. I still find it entertaining and worrying everytime someone give it an airing. Cheers Liz for your comments. Top stuff.

What concerns me about the outdated expectations isn’t so much what they are (OTT, silly, ridiculous, right depending on which point we refer to).
My issue is with the fact that they are expectations for everyday, all the time, regardless of crap days, screaming kids, pmt etc. I think there’re bound to be wives out there who naturally do at least some of that stuff simply because they care for their husband but if any pull it off everyday I’d say: There goes wonderwoman!!
I say that because i know some who do, and not just ladies of a certain age, a few younger ones too.

But it’s not a mechanical obligation, it’s not a duty, it’s a choice!
And there’re days and times when they can’t and don’t and are not expected to.
That’s the important thing here.
And it does go both ways, like Kris says.
I mean come on girls, do you like flowers, being taken out and shown in some kind of marvellous technicolour that he loves you?? This includes the washing up or ironing done or the like…

Look around you & watch the couples who give and take. Those who last share. Maybe not “equally” but definitely appropriately. I know at least 2 blokes whose ‘ministry’ it is to wash up, and they do a sterling job. One of them’s married and his wife hardly ever needs to touch a scourer.

One of the things that gets to me is when a good thing is turned into a rule. It kills the sense of purpose. It takes away the love that drove the action.

Frankly I’m glad times have changed and the cultural inequality has been deal a blow by women who came before me. I think I’d have been trouble back then… and in trouble… unless I found the man of my dreams and so wanted to please and look after him that the rest’d not matter anymore.

Still, there are those days when lunch stuck to the pan, the toddler’s got chickenpox, the dog puked on the carpet and the baby won’t stop crying… and on those days, in my understanding, it’s husband’s turn to look after the poor frazzled lady he comes home to… After all, he has to be a knight in shining armour once in a while.
And if it’s Mr. who’s home on that day, then I hope I’d have my wits about me to make him a cuppa, put the dog out and calm the knee-hight storm.

I write too much Sorry

Come on Jon, we need a new post!

Ok, so I read these two:

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

And I have now decided to start wearing ribbons in my hair in the style of Britney, whilst applying more underarm deodorant so that I am fresh, and have a gay lesbian afair with my best friend Laura in an attempt to be more interesting for my man. For those of you that know Lewis, I’m sure you’ll agree that he would have no objections to any of these.

No wonder women in the sixties thought men like John lennon were fab. All he expected was a 7 day bed-in. Perfect husband material.

where did they get hoovers and dryers from in the 50’s they must have been a rich family

I have read this article a dozen or more times and it never fails to make me laugh. In all fairness I do agree with keeping a clean home, none the less, this job is not required to be done by women only. The article fails to acknowledge that compassion and love is the one and only factor in keeping a long lasting and happy marriage. In many cases of marriage I have found that a clean house does not keep a husband with a wife. In other cases I have found that a little nagging doesn’t hurt at all, it can help a situation if it is done merely out of love. Rules of this type are some what uncalled for, I say “make them up as you go along, feel your partner out. Sacrifices are always made in the name of love. I guess what I’m saying is; to have intent to your partner (women or man) makes a marriage work!

ok well if this is all i had to do everyday i would be bored!!! my day at work and dealing with all of this too…its no wonder its a wemons world now…this article sugest that a man is only capable of work…wemon go to work and all this at the same time….men…they have it so easy

who are the wemon?