Following on from a post earlier this year entitled “You know when you’re living in a shared house when…” I’ve had some further thoughts on the whole house sharing thing. Well, I say some further thoughts - more like one big lurking brown thought. As you may know I’m now living in another shared house - but this time with a bunch of guys and gals I didn’t really know before I moved in. I’d say I was quite lucky in this respect - everyone has been awesome.
But, I’ve just been to answer a call of nature and someone had left a rather large brown gift waiting for me. Despite 4 flushes, it refuses to budge - so I’m unsure what to do. What’s the etiquette for this kind of situation. I mean, I know it’s not mine, but it bloody stinks. Should I try an tackle it with a spoon? Give it a few more flushes? Or just leave it for the next unsuspecting person, who may or may not the owner of said object? Who knows - if you do - please comment with suggestions asap as I’m likely to have nightmares about what I like to call the “Lid Lifter”.
Searching through stuff in my parents garage to take on the recent move down south I found a disc with this awesome video on it that some mates at school made. It’s a blast from the past, and still makes me laugh. Just a shame that some numpty stuck a “Presented by roobottom dot com” on the end in an effort to muscle in on other peoples creativity…
Ah, the joys of living with a bunch of lads. The fridge full of beer and old milk, the unfulfilled cleaning rota, the 10.3 tonnes of Pizza boxes. But I digress, here then (for your reading pleasure) are those moments of realization when you think “Man, i’m living in a shared house.”
There’s toast in the washing powder. Having the toaster positioned on the counter just above the open box of washing powder isn’t always as good as it sounds, especially when you’re clean pants chafe your ass cos they’re full of toast crumbs.
You’re never out of beer. The combination of parties and birthdays recently has meant that our fridge has been looking like the stock room at oddbins. This is made worse by the fact that none of us really drink a lot - people just bring it and it fills the fridge. It’s a hard life.
You have more recycling than the local Tesco. It’s not so much the cans or bottles - It’s the feaking cardboard. tonnes and tonnes of it - and Walsall council doesn’t come and pick it up.
You own a Spacehopper. Matt Clegg and I dedicate at least 15 mins of our working day to bouncing around our living-room. Sweet.
You could hide a small camel in the long grass out back. We really should cut it. Matt did it about 3 weeks ago, and MAN grass grows fast. But we’re getting kicked out of here in 5 weeks so the challenge is on to see how long we can get it before we have to fulfill our “maintenance contract”.
What do I do all day at work? I sit in front of my laptop drawing pretty pictures, writing code and hacking through more CSS than you could shake a stick at. I am, by all accounts, a geek. I even gave that last instance of “CSS” an abbreviation tag, and even worse linked the words “abbreviation tag” to the w3schools article on the subject so the reader, if so inclined, could find out more.
Yes, I’m “into” the web big time. I do it for a job, think about it when I’m out, and the other night I had this dream about this giant mouse trying to kill me… But that’s another story.
There’s a few things that people like me, erm, like (bad English not withstanding). They are Facebook, Twitter and Skype. Granted there are a LOT more, but for the purposes of this post - they’re the only web services that exist, got it?
So I’m feeling like I want to update all my “friends” (God forbid that I actually have people I talk to in real like, no that would be scary). I’m particularly enjoying a cup of tea perhaps, or have smashed my car into yet another wall. Only, I can’t be bothered to Twitter it, update my skype status AND do my little “Jon Roobottom is…” thing on farsebook. That’s where two magic apps come to your rescue.
The first is Twitterrific. This cool little (Mac only) app not only shows you your friends twitters and allows you to twitter until you fall off your chair with excitement, it also updates your skype status for you! Sweet. One down, one to go.
So jump on Facebook and find an app called “TwitterSync” - add this bad boy, and it’ll update your status based on your last Twitter! Awesome.
Follow these two simple instructions, and pretty soon you’ll be having your twitters sh*t out all over the net. Result.
That’s right, the moment you’ve been waiting for is just around the corner. Thurs 15th sees the boys return in series 3 of the Boosh on BBC 3. If you’re a UK dweller, you can see it now on the BBC 3 website - That is if you can put up with the turd that is Realplayer… Why oh why did the BBC choose such a cack media type?
Oh well, You Tube has it too (no, I’m not going to link to it - where would be the fun in that?). And yeah, they’re back in true form. Maybe not quite as quality as the genius that was Old Greg with a funky ball of tits from outer space, but good things will come.
Episode one, Eels, sees the return of the Stitcher and his Chelsea boots - and some obvious increases in production budget. Genius genius genius all the way. They’re back! Get in!
Recently my good friend’s Paul and Esta popped their first sprog (well, Esta did most of the work I’m told) - And in traditional fashion I brought them a gift to celebrate. It’s called ‘Smoking Baby’ and I’m sure if you want you can get one from somewhere on the net, but I got mine in Brighton.
As you may imagine, I was chuffed to bits to meet little Amelie - she’s gorgeous and despite myself I think I actually said “Awwww”. I quickly had to talk about football to regain some equilibrium (not that I like football - it was just the first manly thing that came to mind). But seriously, she is amazing - even if she is making Katie broodier than ever.
I was not so pleased to be asked to take back my gift though! I mean, come on, what self-respecting parent wouldn’t want Baby smokes-a-lot around to teach their kid at an early age that smoking is not only sociably acceptable, but also makes you look cool. I’m surprised this little guy hasn’t got a pair of ‘knarly’ shades or ‘far out’ tattered jeans - Just look how cool he looks puffing away on that big tab.
Well done proud parents - I bet you can’t wait to see what I get her for Christmas!
Avast! The fine fellows at Talk Like a Pirate have put together a video on how to speak like a scurvy dog pirate to get you started.
Most notably tho, Flickr has gone all out in support by adding a new language option for the occasion, so go and check it out quick before yarrrr miss it!
I dunno why I found this so funny, well, interesting I guess.. Paul in the office brought a Loyd Grossman soup that supposedly you can fit in the microwave. When he discovered that it actaully wouldn’t fit in our stinky office micro he decided to exercise his consumer rights by writing a review of the soup on a certain review site…
Paul said:
Hey Loyd! Next time you design the packaging for a soup suitable for microwave heating why not make sure it stands up in the microwave?
Which I thought was a pretty resonable thing to say, the people at the review site however had other ideas…
Dear poppa999,
Thank you for submitting your review of Lloyd Grossman Maris Piper Potato & Leek soup to Review Centre (www.reviewcentre.com). Unfortunately it has not been approved for one or more of the following reasons.
1. Your review was too short and hence may not have contained enough valuable information.
2. Your review may have been on a religious or political topic or contained sexual content.
3. We feel that you may be reviewing your own or a competitor’s product for the good of your own business.
4. Your review criticised other people or a business in such a way that to publish it might make Review Centre liable to legal action.
Please do not let this discourage you from re-writing your review or writing further reviews on the website.
Kind Regards,
The webmaster
So it seems that even when you have a valid point, you can’t get it aired. Hmm.. maybe I’m just running out of ideas of what to write. More soon.
I can’t remember who it was but someone once told me a story of the first ever Coca-Cola factory. It went a little something like this…
As soon as construction on the original Coke factory was completed the then CEO of the company ordered another identical factory built right next door. This was done because in the two years it would take to complete the sister factory, the Coke would’ve eaten away at the mixing vats in the original building to such a degree as to render them unusable. The whole operation could then be transferred into the new factory, and they would have a two year period in which to repair the original vats before the whole operation needed to be moved back again.
Now I’m pretty sure this is just an urban legend (don’t you just love ‘em?), but it illustrates the stuff that may be believable about “The worlds favorite soft drink”. I must admit, I love Coke, and lately I’ve been drinking on average a half litre bottle a day. My desk a work is a grave-yard of empty red-labeled bottles.
Besides the environmental damage I’m doing by throwing away all that plastic, I’m pretty sure I’m damaging my insides as well. I gave up Coke for lent this year, and I couldn’t wait for my first glass on Easter Sunday. Even to the point of waiting to get to a pub where I knew they had ice-cold Coke in a real glass bottle. Yes, it was even harder than giving up beer as I’d done the month before.
So am I addicted? I realise that an addiction to a sweet sticky drink isn’t perhaps the most serious thing in the world, but maybe I should try going without for a while again, just to see if I can. Anyway, that’s all I have to say on the matter.
