Archive for the ‘Random Crap’ Category
March 9th, 2006
Today I are been mostly suffering with Man Flu. Yes, that most common of conditions where the merest sniffle leads us men folk to declare that we “feel like death”.
So as I sat at work, not really suffering whatsoever, I got to thinking about the common man cold (or to give it it’s full name “Homosniffus-Sciveaday“) and it’s place in the history of this great nation.
At first I drew a blank, it appeared that all mention of this disease had been wiped from the history books, erased by those ashamed to even speak it’s name. But a renewed determination yielded some surprising facts.
For instance, did you know that the first cases of plague in London were thought to be nothing more than a new strain of Man Flu? Of course they quickly realized that this wasn’t the case when people started exhibiting real symptoms rather than just complaining a lot because they had “a bit of a sniffle”.
The next recorded case of the dreaded affliction was in 1750, when on March 2nd there was a small earth quake in London. What most of these so called ‘History‘ sites wont tell you is that it was actually a young baker Frank Littlebottom sneezing to emphasize his flued-up-ness and making entirely too much of it.
So it would appear that Man Flu is nothing new, for hundreds of years men have been complaining about a case of the sniffles, I’m just proud to be able to keep up this fine tradition. *sniff*
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February 16th, 2006
A strange mark appeared on my forehead on Tuesday. I went to the loo before lunch and checked myself out in the mirror (as you do) and it wasn’t there, but when I returned from Lichfield the mark had materialized slap bang in the middle of my head.
So what strange phenomenon caused this strange mark? I think I’m fairly safe as there’s not even a single six anywhere in sight, but it’s still a bit weird. Maybe it’s cos my brain has been on full-tilt crazy go-nuts power for the last six weeks, and it’s finally leaked. Who knows.
Additional… A top ten five of what this mark could be:
- A Laser (Kris)
- A leaky pen mark (Starberri)
- Lipstick (!) (Rachel)
- Walked into a Door (Han)
- Self Obsession (Dr. Paul)
14 Comments »
February 7th, 2006
Photos are cool. I was having a look through my mobile pics last night and they we’re reminding me of all the good times I’d had with mates the last year. So, not really that interesting for people that don’t know me, but it’s good to indulge in things once in a while. Here are some more…
Technorati Tags: mobile
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February 1st, 2006
One thing I’ve been thinking about the last few days is accents. Yes pretty random I know, but it’s been in there with all the other stuff that I really don’t want to write about at the moment, so you’ve got to put up with this. Sorry.
Anyway, the accents. Mine, for example, would be described as “Brummie” by someone who lived anywhere else in England except Birmingham, and they’d probably think I was a from Dudley. In fact, if you really want to localize it mine is a Walsall accent, coming from Brownhills as I do. But I guess that’s not important right now, so I’m going with “Brummie”.
It was my mate Dave that pointed out that certain words sound better in some accents than they do in others. Brummies can really say the number five, putting the emphasis on the “fi” so it sounds like “fi-a-ve”. Where as Geordie’s do well with the word “Conjunctivitis”, try it you’ll see what I mean. So it seams to me that accents have their own keywords that really define them. Here are a few that I thought of…
- Conjunctivitis- Geordie
- Five (fi-a-ve) - Brummie
- Thirty Three and a Third (terty-tree and a turd) - Irish
Well, I did say a few. Maybe you could come up with some more?
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January 13th, 2006
Ooo, I love tea me. So I thought after the stir caused by the last post I’d write about something else that’s quite close to my heart. Yesterday lunchtime I had a wonder over the local supermarket, my mission was clear: To get some new tea bags to replace the 3 year old bumper pack of 20 million we have lying around in the work kitchen. So imagine my displeasure when after 5 minuets drawing fresh water and boiling the slower-than-average kettle I came to get a Earl Grey bag for my cup only to discover i’d brought loose leaves!
It’s some indication of the lengths I’ll goto to amuse myself at work that I was this gutted about the lack of decent tea. And then to spend another 10 minuets taking a picture of the tea, uploading it, then writing about it as-well…
Anyway, in conclusion, I like tea. A lot.
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September 14th, 2005
Never let it be said that life in the country is boring, danger lurks around every corner. There I was taking a gentle stroll, just chilling out at lunchtime, when I “herd” it. A sound which sent a chill up my my spine. The sound of a thousand bovine hooves thundering along in the field next to the path on which I was walking.
My view was obscured by a large bush, but every now and again I caught a flash of black and white. As I reached the end of the lane, a gate to my left was all that separated to from the now huge throng of cows amassing before me. Luckily I had my camera, and just managed to take this snap before the maddened crowd, who were now threatening to burst through onto the path, got too leery!
As I left, I was treated to a chorus of MOOO’s, and I knew I had witnessed something spectacular. These truly were Cow Assassins
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August 25th, 2005
Here it comes then, the first post for a month and it’s about buttons? Yes, I could give you a whole host of deep and meaningful about life, the cosmos and everything but to be quite honest I’ve started to bore myself with the current stuff that’s clogging up my head. So it’s the buttons or nothing.
The more observant of you will have noticed a whole host of buttons now at the top of the page. Where do they go? What do they do? I hear you cry, well let me tell you. A long time ago in a land far away there lived a race of tiny people, lets call them the Frits. The Frits spent all of their days frollecking in the fields by day and doing other such things by night. But one particular Frit was not satisfied with his lot in life, he didn’t much care for the constant frollecking.
So one day the little Frit set off, his most prised possessions in a little red back upon his back. He walked up hill and over dale all the time carry his little red bag upon his back. Whenever he came to a turn in the road he would bend down, open the little red bag and leave a little red ribbon under a stone or tied around a branch. He did this so if he wanted to he could find his way back home.
On he trekked, up hill and over dale all the time carrying his little red bag upon his back and leaving his ribbons under stones or tied around branches. Then one day he reached a clearing where a crocodile killed him and ate him all up. The end.
So you see what I’m saying with this and the buttons? Sometimes it’s best not to know. I hope you enjoyed that waste of time.
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July 22nd, 2005
Just a quack question (sorry)… Just how intelligent are ducks?
There is some logic behind my thinking on this one… This morning on my way to work (yes, late again) I was forced to stop as a family of ducks used the pedestrian crossing. “This is surreal” I thought. It was the sort of thing you see on those horrible posters that people have, you know the type with a cat hanging onto a branch and the catch-line underneath says “Hang On”. That type.
So this got me thinking, if a duck is clever enough to know to use the crossing point, what else could a duck do? Obviously the lack of opposable thumbs (and indeed hands) rules out world domination, but surly a civil service job wouldn’t be out of the question? In fact, we could see a duck in political office soon, or even becoming the leader of a smaller nation with a large duck population who are politically motivated towards the duck issues of the day.
You never know, maybe you’ve already met the next duck into space. I’ve heard there’s a secret training facility just outside of Bloxwich where duck-assassins are trained to get one back for all the ducks that have become the filling for crispy pancakes. I love crispy pancakes… I’m probably in real trouble.
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July 6th, 2005
Okay, maybe I was a little hasty in saying that last post was the last one, how could I stop? Especially when I love the sound of my own voice, or at least the look of my own type.
Anyway, I digress. Paul says I should write about things that effect the world at large, that have a global impact. So that got me thinking about the tea situation here at work. Paul (at work) brought in some PG Tips tea granules, that are basically the same as coffee granules, but in tea-format. These are supposedly the pinnacle of tea technology, forced into the barren wasteland left by the pyramid bag. But unfortunately it tastes like crap.
Anyway, I continue to digressiffy (big shout out to my man Bush). My point being this. Traditional stuff is the best. Real tea, coffee, rice, fruit juice, chocolate and wines are well worth spending an extra few pence. But even better, spend your money on products that bear the fair-trade logo. In a week where we’ve had Live8 and the G8 summit, the massive gulf between the rich and poor is in the forefront of everyone’s minds. This is just one more little thing you can do to help. It does make a difference.
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May 26th, 2005
Londoners will soon be given the opportunity to join the Swedish cool set with a brand new Icebar. Vodka brand Absolute are teaming up with the people behind the Icehotel in Sweden and new kids on the (ice)block Below zero to bring the bar to the UK.
The Icebar will allow 60 people at a time through it’s air-lock system, equipping them with special coats and gloves. Everything, including the walls and the Vodka glasses will be made from ice and maintained at a constant minus 5 degrees Celsius but a purpose built air-conditioning system. Now that’s cool!
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